“I lied to her because I knew she’d be mad if I told the truth.”

This is one example of a man explaining his reason for being dishonest with his spouse.

This may be #1 on the list of ‘bad deals’ that we make in relationships. In theory, if the lie is never found out, there’s no problem. In fact, the liar often feels that it’s a smart move, as it avoids a conflict. (The reality, though, is that you’ve got the issue of your own integrity to wrestle with.).

In practice, the lie often can be found out, and there are now two problems to deal with:

1. The conflict you were trying to avoid through the lie is now there to be dealt with.
2. You’ve just created a trust issue in your relationship.

Lack of trust is incredibly toxic in a relationship. When there is no trust, intimacy decreases, and control increases – not the right recipe for a successful relationship. One person told me that: “Trust is more important than love.”And for what I have experience with couples, I’d say this is true. If the trust in your relationship is damaged, just about everything else is affected.

Honesty is at the very core of great relationships. Without it, couples will do nothing more than limp along. But those that adhere to absolute trust and truthfulness are free to gallop ahead at full stride.

There are three levels of truth-telling:

@The first is the verbal level@

Lies represent verbal violations that have a powerfully negative impact on trust. If a woman covers her lack of punctuality by insisting “traffic was terrible,” damage is done to the relationship. If a man says he didn’t stop on the way home for a drink, but he did, there will be a price to pay. Obviously, the more serious the infraction, the greater the tax on the relationship.

@Second, truth is crucial on the behavioral level.@

Both partners need to follow through on what they say. Words must be backed up by actions. If you promise to show up for an appointment on time, you should be there on time. If you say you’ll send a thank you note to friends who had you over for dinner, you need to do it. Maintaining behavioral integrity contributes deeply to the building of a secure relationship.

@Finally, it’s important to be truthful on the “being” level@
This level may never get talked about, but it will be vital to the health of the developing relationship. For instance, if a marriage partner pursues inner health, that person will be making a crucial “being” contribution. But when that person gets pressured to be something he or she is not, the relationship is sure to suffer.

Personal decisions that are made out of timidity or coercion represent a surrender of one’s integrity and commitment to a false self. But those actions and attitudes that emanate from authentic parts of yourself fortify the relationship.

Want a fantastic relationship? Maximize the trust factor by being completely honest each and every time the need arises. Tell the truth, behave the truth, and be the truth. Under these conditions, a relationship is sure to thrive and flourish.

As tough as dating can be, the toughest task of all may be at the beginning when you are trying to tell if a girl really likes you or not. Is she really flirting or brushing you off?
Women, no doubt, often seem like a big mystery. Whether they are serious, flirting, or just playing games, it is hard to tell because all women aren’t the same. Despite the fact that thousands of research papers about human behavior have been published, no one can confidently claim to say a girl likes him – Nick Marshall (Mel Gibson in What Women Want) excluded. These kind of people are indeed nonexistent. No matter how many times she smiles, flutters her eyelashes, or plays with her hair, the only way you can be sure that she really likes you, is until she says so herself.

However, women do provide some clues about what’s going on in their mind. These clues can be in the form conversation, body language and etc. So, don’t get stuck in the ’she loves me’ or ’she loves me not’ phase, learn how to decipher the cryptic hints she provides. Here are a few ways to help you get started.

*Watch Her Body Language. An interested girl may lean close when speaking to you. She may smile when you look at her. Notice if she touches you often, just brushing your arm or touching your shoulder.If she crossed her legs when sitting down. If the front foot is pointed or rocking towards you, it’s a sign she wants to get closer.Watch for hand gestures. Twirling her hair, playing with jewelry, rubbing her wrists and exposing her palms are all nervous signs of interest.Wait and see if she touches you in any way. That’s almost the number one sign she likes you.

If you have never paid attention to her body language, it would be wise to start doing that now. If she’s leaning close and smiling while talking to you, she’s genuinely interested. If she touches your arm or shoulder often, smiles when you look at her, and looks into your eyes when you speak to her, it’s a clear sign that she’s definitely interested. Also watch out for her hand gestures. She may twirl her hair, play with jewelry or other accessories, and rub her wrists, these are few nervous signs of interest. Remember that mostly body language clues are about physical attraction, rather than commitment and relationship but, there are always exceptions to the rule.

*Check for eye contact. If she looks directly at you and her pupils are dilated, she is definitely interested. Also, see if she blinks more than usual or flutters her eyelashes. She does her cat scan over you. You might notice that she looks at you at regular intervals and scans you from top to bottom to top again. So, dress well and do not slouch.

*The Conversation.

Observe the way she listens to you while you are speaking. Do her eyes wander somewhere else or are they focused on you? If she is interested in you, she will listen attentively to what you are saying. You cannot get to know a person until you start talking to them. The way you start a conversation is also important. Start the conversation with slight humor to lighten the mood. Remember, if you can make a woman laugh, half your battle is already won. If she talks a lot about you, or asks you many questions, she’s curious and wants to know more about you, and if she talks about herself – her interests, hobbies, friends and family – she probably wants you to get to know her better, before committing to a relationship.

*See if she talks more about herself or you. If she asks you a lot of questions, she wants to know as much about you as possible.

*Pay attention to her voice. It’s a good sign if she tries to match your tone by raising or lowering her voice or talking faster or slower.

*Watch for conversation about exes. If she asks about ex-girlfriends, she wants to know if she’s your type. If she talks a lot about ex-boyfriends, she’s probably not looking for a relationship now.

*Talk to her. You can’t get to know someone without talking to them and spending time together. If you want to know if she likes you, you must be neither overbearing nor afraid of rejection; you have to know how to approach and talk to women for success in the dating world. Give the girl some of your own time and attention and she just may make her desires known.

*Notice how often she calls or texts you just to say good night. If you are friends and exchange text messages or phone calls, pay attention to when she contacts you. Does she only call when she’s bored or all her friends are out? Or does she call you just to say hello in the morning or wish you good night? If she calls because she is thinking of you, she’s interested. If she calls because she wants something, she may be playing a game or just looking for a friend when she’s alone.

*Watch her with her friends. Some girls behave differently when they are with their friends, for example, she may be comfortable when she’s alone with you, but, with her friends around, she may try to avoid you. You should look at the way her friends react when you pass by. If they glance at you smiling and giggling, it probably means that her friends know about you – a good sign. Or, when she’s having a conversation with her friends, and you pass by, she may stop talking, which means that you were probably the topic of conversation. It may also be that she’s just nervous in your presence. These are some signs that show she is interested in you, and wants to get to know you better.

*Invite her for coffee. Some girls just won’t make the first move. She might not flirt or ask you out but she will respond to an invitation. If the girl you desire says yes she definitely likes you, but it may just be as a friend. On your coffee date, go back to step three and talk to her. Listen to what she has to say.

*Tell her how you feel. Some girls want to know a guy is interested before they make up their own minds. It may not be fair for you to have to make the first move, but sometimes it happens. If you like her, let her know. If you think a girl likes you but you don’t return the feeling, let her know you aren’t interested and then give her the space to deal with it in her own way.

*She can’t look you in the eye. Another one of the signs she likes you is when she can’t look at you face-to-face for long. If she does manage it, see if she’s blushing or check for any signs of nervousness.
Unless you’re generally known as a terrifying person, her nervousness probably has something more to do with how fast her heart’s beating at that very moment. This is more obvious when you used to hang out with her all the time before she suddenly became shy around you.

*She asks you personal questions. When a woman likes a guy, she will naturally want to know more about him. So if a lady started asking you about your favorite colors and what you like to do in your spare time, she’s probably fancies you.

Some Other Clues

* To know more about you, she may start hanging around your friends
* She is always the first to congratulate you on your achievements, and is always there to support you
* You see her presence more often than usual
* She will never refuses when you ask her to have coffee or spend time with you
* She is always ready to help you every time you need
* She buys small gifts for you for no reason
* She asks about your prior relationships (she probably wants to know if you are single or not)
* She is comfortable around you and doesn’t need to pretend about anything
* She calls you in morning to say hello and wishes you goodnight before sleeping

These are a but a few signs which will let you know if a girl likes you or not. To understand these signs, you need to spend time with her and get to know her better. And once you know that she likes you, just love her ‘truly, madly, deeply’.

Learn to differentiate between a person with genuine interest and a person who just wants to make small conversation though.

Some signs she likes you can overlap with one another. However, don’t delude yourself into thinking she’s attracted to you based on just one experience. The only way you’ll get the hang of it is through a lot of careful observation. Put your analytical skills to good use and you might get the answer you’re looking for.

Getting ready for a first date can be overwhelming, especially if you’ve not been out of the dating game for awhile, or you are generally the silent type. One way to break the awkward silence is to strike up a conversation with them. You may become worried about coming up with things to talk about on the date. You want to learn about this person, have a great conversation and have it flow without a large amount of silences.

Here are some suggested topics that you can use to strike up a conversation with your date:

* Work. Work is usually a good topic for a first date. Ask them about what they do and how they got into their career. Ask them about their past education and career plans.

* Siblings. Talking about their sisters and brothers usually trigger good feelings and score points for you since you are showing a caring side and an interest in her family life.

* Travel. Ask about their past travel destinations and where she intends to visit in the future. If you and your date find that you have traveled to the same places, you can find all kinds of other things to talk about.

* Food. If the date is taking place at a restaurant or bar, talking about the kind of food and drinks each of you prefers. Not only can you determine whether you share culinary preferences or not, but the potential topics are endless.

* Hobbies and Interests. Ask them what activities they enjoy doing. What kind of music do they like? What sparks their interest? These e personal questions can help you determine how much of a bond exist between the two of you. This could also gain you some insights to follow-up questions.

And listed below is some topics you should try best to avoid in a first date conversation:

* Their past. Never ask about past lovers on a first date unless they initiate the topic themselves. They may have been hurt from a past relationship or may have unresolved feelings.

* Their parents. Asking about them could backfire, especially if their parents are divorced or separated when she was at a young age.

* Politics and Religion These topics, when used in a first date conversation, can be real turn off.

Bonus tip: Ask them a lot of questions, but remember to listen and form new questions around their answers. Also, try to be a listener. People sometimes talk too much when they feel nervous, so make it a point to constantly turn the conversation around, allowing your date to talk as well.

He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me! It would be so nice if guys were as easy to read as plucking petals off a daisy. Searching for a relationship with Mr. Right is not always that easy. There are, however, a few tell tale signs that guys give if they like you.

There’s no way to know for sure if a guy likes you unless you ask him (and even then he could get shy and say no!) so here are a few tips to help you work out if he likes you.

* Examine his body language. If he likes you, you may see that he rarely turns his back to you, often leans towards you, and also looks at you a lot. If he slouches his shoulders when near you, he’s romantic and cares about what you have to say. If he points his shoulders and pelvis towards you while sitting, he is definitely feeling something for you.

* Notice his eye contact. If he likes you, he may either look away quickly if he is shy, or he’ll try to catch your eye and hold it or make faces. This can be uncomfortable if you don’t like him. If you feel like you have held eye contact just a fraction of a second longer than you would with anyone else, or if he looks away quickly, then there is something there. When he’s around you and he says/does something funny and everyone around laughs, his eyes will flicker towards you for a second to see if you laughed, too. Also, he might stare at you, without being aware of the fact that others might be watching him. If he is rather shy, he will try and look away if you catch him staring at you. Watch out if you see a mischievous glint or an affectionate sparkle in his eyes when he looks at you. As for the more mischievous and bold guys, a playful wink might also do the trick.

* His pupils may dilate if he likes you, but this is quite hard to pick up on, and you might come across as acting strangely by looking that closely into his eyes. If you’re around him for a long time, it could be easier to pick up on gradually.

* Listen to what he’s saying. If he likes you, and he’s nervous, he’ll probably start talking about himself. Many times, guys feel the need to prove themselves- especially if you talk about another guy in his company.

*Be aware of touching. He might put his hand on your arm when he laughs, and won’t move his leg if it happens to touch yours, or he may hug you for small things – all are good signs of a guy liking you, unless he’s a bit of a “playboy” who flirts with a lot of girls. See if he uses any of the tricks in How to Touch a Girl, and see if he uses them more with you than with anyone else.

* Watch his actions around other girls and see if he treats you differently. Some guys flirt with other girls to get your attention. It gives them a chance to see your reaction. It helps them know if you really do like them or not. The way you can tell that they are trying to make you “jealous” is that they find little times when they’re flirting with the other girl to look at you. His eyes will flick over and look at you. Another sign is that when you leave, he stops flirting with the other girl. That will be a harder one to pick up on, but you can have a friend look for you or something like that. You have to be sneaky sometimes to find out if a guy likes you.

* Watch him showing interest in things you like and do. For example, if you like a certain genre of music that he likes as well, he may suggest bands or artists for you to listen to. Another example, if you play sports he may ask to play against you just to show off that he’s good at something you both like and then also have a reason to give you compliments as well. He opens his life to you and his personal interest.

* Check for signs of nervousness. Nervous laughter, sweaty palms, deep breaths, fidgeting, looking away quickly when you notice if he is watching you are all good signs of an attraction towards you and that he is nervous about making an impression on someone he fancies.He blushes and sweat because he is intimadated at you.

* He tells someone. He likes you if he tells a mutual friend that he wants to know more about you, or he asks other people who you are and where you’re from. He is trying to act like he’s “just asking” but his questions indicate more than a casual interest in you . And when he tells someone that he finds you attractive, he probably knows that it will get back to you. He’s hoping it does.

* The conversation. Does he like you? When he manages to get close enough to you, to ask you questions, he is interested. He appears to be listening and responds to what you say. He’s moving in to the ultimate question, which is: “Are you seeing anyone.” He would only ask this question if he wanted to date you, and he hopes the answer is “No.” Never ever wear a ring in public. When a guy is across the room, he cannot tell which finger it is on and he may assume incorrectly that you are taken. If he doesn’t ask you the question of whether or not you are attached, he may ask someone whom you both know.

*He appears unexpectedly. He likes you a lot if he shows up out of nowhere. He can only do that if he has been asking people about your schedule, or he has been paying attention to where you are going and at what time. His face may turn red when he sees you. A sudden, “Oh, hi,” is his way of saying, “I don’t want to seem obvious, but I am interested in you.” If you feel the same way, do not act shy. Stop and talk to him.

*Watch his Etiquettes. Yes, it is said that if a guy likes you he will try and impress you and will be at his very best behavior when you are around. He will open the door for you, hold out your chair if you go out for a meal, will look out for you while walking, will hold your hand while crossing the road and so on.

*Attention to details. The guy will go out of his way to entertain you, make you laugh in case you are in a group. He will always be listening very carefully when you are talking. He will try and grab you attention by cracking a joke, passing a comment. He will always ask for your opinion in every little thing

*He teases you because he wants you to remember and notice him. Don’t be offended if he is teasing or making fun of you. Guys are funny this way. Sometimes they do not know how to express themselves to their love interest, so they go about it by making up silly nicknames or teasing. Some guys will make fun of their friends in front of their crush to appear funny.

*Think back on conversations you have had with him. Does he remember the little things that you said? Guys remember little insignificant pieces of conversations when they like you. They are letting you know that they are interested in everything about you. This is a good sign of his desire to have a relationship with you.

*He seems to find reasons to be with or near you. Does he find ways to be closer to your body, near you, sit close or on the same side of the room as you? Does he want your opinion? Cares what you have to say? Does he seem to be around you often, when he can? Does his face lighten up or seem to go from stress to unstressed when you walk in or say hello? Beware, these are all the good signs that a guy probably likes you so much.

*Ask him out on a date. If he accepts, you’ll know he is interested. If a guy rejects a date without a good reason, he is probably not seeking a relationship with you.

*Pay attention to his friends. If they know he’s interested in you, they might tease him subtly when you’re around, hint to you that he likes you, or even try to find out if you like him. Study their reactions to your presence – do they smile? Do they turn to him? Do they smirk in a way that suggests they know something that you don’t? If so, then there’s a good chance that they know that he really does like you.

*Check with your friends. Guys often take a greater interest in a girl’s friends as a way to get closer to her. Find out if he is asking about you when you are not around. Sometimes guys are too shy to express their interest in you, so they will go about it in a roundabout way.

* Don’t ignore him. If he shows genuine interest in you, (i.e. smiles at you a lot in the hallway, work, etc., at least go out for a walk.)

Finally, to make sure whether he likes you or not then you can go ahead and ask him. Do you fear rejection? Well, he can say no to you, that is for sure, but think a little. You will save a lot of time and you will not daydream without any guarantees that something will ever happen between you two.

To keep away from any embarrassing situations, try to ask the right questions. If he says he does not like you, you may say the same thing and treat everything as a joke. Or, if you ask him if he likes you as a friend, then you can also strengthen this supposition by saying that you also care for him as a friend. See? You get out of it elegantly and smoothly. But if he likes you and not as his friend, then you are on the right path.

When you do the things that are sure to make a man feel that gut level attraction that goes deeper than just his physical attraction and desires, then he’ll do and try anything to be close to you. Is it amazing? Yes, of course. What you have to do is to learn. It’s a skill and it is not a magic, and I honestly believe that any woman can learn it if she wants. Good luck!

It is often very stressful for a person to date or even try to date when they’re shy. A shy person is often anxious or uneasy around the opposite sex and in dating situations. Many shy people are wrongly getting tabbed as being snobbish or weird, when in fact they simply lack self-confidence and uncertain how to communicate their feelings. The fear of rejection can be oftentimes the cause of shyness in dating.

If you are one of those people who struggles with timidity in dating, this tips may help you overcome your shyness:

* Perfect your posture. Pull your stomach in when standing. Your spine would naturally align and your back is straightened. An erect posture can give out a sign of confidence. Practice doing this until it looks natural.

* Avoid crossing your arms. Crossing your arms while you’re talking to another person can make you look defensive. This can be stand-offish sometimes.

* Make yourself easy to talk to. When you meet someone you are interested in, be curious about this person. Ask open-ended questions and talk about mutual interests to keep the conversation going.

* Try to make the first move. Stand close enough to the person you want to have a conversation with. Catch their eye and smile briefly. When they smile back and make direct eye contact, they are open to talking. Striking up a conversation first may seem difficult at first, but you would get used to it once more and more people talk to you, slowly building up your confidence.

* Give a compliment. If you don’t know how to start a conversation, give a compliment. Make a truthful compliment at the other person you want to talk to. However, steer clear from the obvious body parts. Say something that will make the other person proud, such as his or her laugh, positive attitude, or confidence among others. Remember, be honest.

* Watch their reaction. If the person is happy to continue chatting with you, their smile would get wider, they would move closer and lean towards you. If they don’t instantly drip with enthusiasm, don’t worry because other people get nervous too.

Bonus tip: When asking people out, start by chatting the the new person about the activity you are both participating in and then ask them if they would like to get together some other time. A brief coffee or lunch usually works best.