Dating over 40 can be very fun. Not only have you had the chance to discover yourself and your likes and dislikes, but you are wise and experienced and you bring this to the dating table. It’s a lot different from being young and silly while dating. While dating is always stressful, single people over 40 have unique issues and challenges. Some of these are worries about appearance such as weight or thinning hair, issues about having children already or not being able to have more, and even just being out of practice with socializing.
However, it can also be quite difficult to date at this age as well. Being rusty when it comes to dating can leave room for doubt and nerves to come into play.

Leave Your “Ex” in the Past. If you’ve had a divorce or separated from a long relationship, it can be very difficult not to refer to your ex. It’s perfectly natural, especially if you were with the person for a long time. However, the person you’re dating can feel as if they can never compete with the memory of your ex if you bring him or her up at every occasion. They do not want to be compared with your ex. Give them a fresh start with you by leaving your ex where he or she belongs – in the past. Think about how you would feel if your date discussed their ex at every available opportunity. To keep from making a slip, really consider what you say before you say it!

Find Someone to Date. Often times, singles over 40 can have a difficult time meeting new people. If you’re past the desire to hang out in a bar or nightclub full of 20 year olds, never fear! There are a lot of great places to meet people your age. Think of your favorite café or diner, the gym, the place you volunteer at, or even an online dating service. One of the most important things you can do is talk! Don’t be afraid to approach someone and start a conversation – after all, you’re not a shy young kid anymore. Dating services can be very fun and allow you the chance to screen people before ever communicating with them.

Be Yourself. The more honest you are, the better you will be when you’re dating. You want someone to really begin to like you for who you are. For this reason, it’s important to be yourself and be happy with who you are as you begin dating. It can be difficult to remember this because dating over 40 proves to be a frustration sometimes. Being lonely can easily make you want to be the ‘perfect person’ for someone else. However, if you continue being yourself you can be assured that when someone falls for you, they fall for the real you – not the ‘perfect person.’

Break Out Of Your Routine. If you’re interested in getting back into the dating game, you have to get out there and start meeting new people. Your date isn’t going to come to you, so break out of your routine, and get out of the rut. Meeting new people will require some effort – make it!

Start With A Positive Attitude. The same as with most anything else, if you go in with a negative attitude you are going to limit what you can get out of it. So be positive! See it as an opportunity to get in touch with other single people that you might get on with, and have a laugh with without having any specific expectations. That way you will have a lot more fun and really be yourself.

An Easy Date to Meet is for a Cup of Coffee. It will probably be less stressful and less threatening than meeting at a more romantic place. A coffee shop also helps avoid the topic of alcohol, which can be a dicey subject in some situations. Plus it is almost impossible to really get to know someone over the loud music associated with a club.

You Should Know How to Handle Negative Response. It may be that the person simply is rejecting the suggested activity rather than you. She may not enjoy sporting events or may not be able to dance or play golf. Try suggesting some other activity or picking different times or days. If she really does not want to see you, she will make it clear.

Most importantly, you should be able to accept no for an answer occasionally. Just because you don’t have chemistry with one person does not mean you are a poor date for everyone. Be nice and accept that it isn’t personal. If you keep trying, you will find the right person for you.

You also need to know what not to do. For example, don’t spend the entire date talking about other you have dated or had relationships with. Additionally, you should not try and be too suave and hand out empty compliments. Just be sincere – women can tell when you don’t mean what you’re saying.

Avoid Talking Incessantly About Your Family. Mentioning your children if fine, but don’t end up showing tons of pictures or going on and on about them. You two barely know each other yet, so don’t make it seem as if you are auditioning her for the role of stepmother already.

Be Affectionate but not blatantly sexual early on in the relationship. This would send the message that you are after only one thing. Take things as they come naturally and don’t overwhelm the person with seductive messages too soon

Don’t Repeat The Same Mistakes. If you’ve been burned in the past and ended up getting a bitter divorce (or something similar)…this time around, don’t make the same mistakes again. You don’t have to be on your guard all the time but just be careful. So if you have a particular affinity for women who end up breaking your heart – consciously avoid them. Or if you’re constantly attracted to men who run away from commitment – reconsider your choices.

Take It Easy. If you’re newly single and looking for love again, just remember there is no need to rush it. Going too fast can scare off anyone irrespective of what age they are. Get to know the person, go out on a few dates and let things take their own course.

Dress Appropriately. Sounds obvious right but some people don’t realize it. Many of you might be back in the dating scene after a fair few years while others just want to impress someone younger. You don’t have to dress “old” for a date but don’t try to be someone you’re not. “Dress appropriately” means dress so that you don’t look like 58 going on 18!

Have Fun. Most importantly: have fun! Age has nothing to do with love so don’t let anyone tell you you’re too old to date. Meet new people and have fun while you’re doing it. Dating isn’t a chore that you need to get over with so like I said before, take it easy and take the time to have some fun.

The most important thing to remember, however, is to be yourself . If you’re fake or you lie about yourself, you’ll end up just trying to remember what nonsense you’ve said. No one can maintain a relationship built on falsehoods, and you need to be hones if you want any chance at a real relationship.
As you begin dating and meeting new people, remember the tips. They will help you break the ice when dating over 40 and you can make what seems to be very difficult into something fun and exciting.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 26th, 2009 at 6:49 am and is filed under Dating Advice, Dating Tips. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.