Facts:
- Dating Violence affects one in four teens. This type of abuse is not just physical, but it is emotional abuse also.
- Yelling, threatening, name calling, extreme possessiveness, and obsessive phone calling or paging, are all a phase of Dating Violence.
- You Are a Victim of Dating Violence if you are going out with someone who… is jealous and possessive, won’t let you have friends, and checks up on you or won’t accept breaking up?
- Tries to control you by being bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, or not taking your opinion seriously?
- Puts you down in front of friends or tells you that you would be nothing without him/her?
- Makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?
- Abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to use them?
What is Teen Dating Violence?
Dating violence is the physical, emotional and/or verbal abuse of one partner by the other partner in a current or former dating relationship. Abusive behavior is any act carried out by one partner aimed at hurting or controlling the other. Dating violence happens in male/female relationships as well as in lesbian and gay relationships.
A violent relationship means more than being hit by the person who claims to love or care about you. Violence is about power and control. When someone uses abuse and violence against you, it is always part of a larger pattern to try and control you.
Even though most people think that violence in relationships happens only between married persons, the same kind of violence also happens between people who are dating regardless of their sexual orientation. Even if you are not being hurt physically, verbal and emotional abuse are just as painful and often lead to physical violence.
Why the other partner end up Violence?
Love – Abusers are not always hurtful. Many abusers have a likable and loving side that makes their victims with only that the abuse would stop. Many victims think they can change the abuser’s behavior.
Fear – Many times a date/partner will threaten to hurt him or herself if the other decides to leave. Many times the abuser will threaten to hurt the victim if s/he decides to leave. Abusers often threaten that the violence will get worse if the partner decides to leave.
Doubt – It’s not always easy to admit that the relationship you are in is abusive. If your date is popular at school (athletics, academics, etc.) you may be concerned about losing social status with your peers.
Embarrassment - Teens who ask for help (especially from parents) may perceive themselves to be failures. Some teenagers believe that their parents will react violently if they are aware of the abuse.
Effects of Dating Violence
Dating violence can range from broken bones and bruised self-esteem to permanent injury and even death. Victims may also come to view abuse as a normal part of their relationships. Dating violence can prevent a young person from growing and learning from healthy relationships.
Some of the effects are:
- loss of appetite
- shame
- mistrust of self
- fear
- terror
- depression
- self-blame
- confusion
- anxiety
- sadness
- guilt
- suicide
- death
Types of Dating Violence
Emotional Abuse - name calling, humiliation ot attemps to undermine self-esteem.
Sexual abuse – coerced or forced sex
Threats – threatening retaliation or threatening to leave the relationship
Isolation – not allowing partner to spend time with others in order to isolate them from friends and family
Harassment – repeated phone calls, text messages or other forms of communication
Physical abuse - hitting somebody or preventing them from leaving
